Rev. Nan L. White delivered this sermon on Sunday, Aug. 28, 2016, at Rogue Valley Unitarian Universalist Fellowship.

“A word is not a crystal, transparent and unchanged; it is the skin of a living thought and may vary greatly in color and content according to the circumstances and time in which it is used.” —Oliver Wendell Holmes, Jr.

How many of you were taught the saying “sticks and stones can break my bones but words will never harm me”? My experience of that saying is quite the opposite. Words have harmed me in my life, and what’s worse, is that I’ve used words to harm others.

I can think about my not too distant past of using words that caused harm and distress to another person, mostly unintentional, but if I’m really honest with myself, my past does have moments when I purposefully chose words that caused great harm to another human being. UU minister Robert Fulghum’s version of that same saying is: “Sticks and stones may break our bones, but words will break our hearts.” That version rings more true for me. Words have broken my heart and my words have broken hearts.

As a minister who’s in the business of speaking, I am challenged every moment of every day when choosing my words and not only when writing a sermon.

Over the span of my life I’ve come to learn, often the hard way, what author Madisyn Taylor describes as, “the more conscious I become, the more I deepen my relationship to the words I choose to use.” Words carry energy and this gives language its power and its potential to heal or to hurt. I’m guessing you can remember a time when someone sent a word your way, and it stuck with you. Maybe it was the first time you received a compliment, or someone called your name, or maybe it was when a friend or sibling called you a name, but either way it stuck. These kinds of experiences reminds us that what we say has weight and power and that becoming conscious of the weight and power of words we also learn we have a choice as to which words we use.

Today, the political rhetoric we read and hear about is a painful example of how words can harm people. And when the repetition of harmful and hateful words are heard by our children. I can only imagine what damage is being done to their young minds and hearts and what do we think they are learning from adults who choose words of hate.

As a religious community do we have a responsibility to be instrumental in providing a way to counter the culture of hate as we transform ourselves to a culture of love?

Yes, we do, and we can do no less.

Krista Tippet was the Ware Lecturer at General Assembly in Columbus this year and I encourage you to go online and listen to her lecture that speaks about the power of words and language and its importance in our culture today. As a journalist she has a beautiful way of reminding us that “Love is a public good. What we practice we become. Love is not just a feeling, it is a way of being in the world.”

Love is not just a word either, and yet our choice of words can be powerful in impact when we exchange our words with each other. I believe we can be instrumental in countering this culture of hate because as Unitarian Universalists we have the foundation of our UU principles upon which to ground our very being. Those seven principles we proudly covenant to live and uphold in our every day lives and together as a congregation here at RVUUF support and guide us in our everyday choices.

We can counter hate by intentionally and carefully choosing the words we want to live by so that the very words become embodied, and over time our actions end up speaking louder than the words themselves. “Deeds not creeds” is a popular phrase UU’s like to tout because our actions can be more important and impactful than our words, but we can’t dismiss the punch words can have on people.

Look at your insert in today’s order of service and glance over the seven principles. Take them home and place them somewhere you see them everyday, not just on Sunday. In fact, the children’s version is a lot easier to remember:

1. Each person is important.
2. Be kind in all you do.
3. We’re free to learn together.
4. We search for what is true.
5. All people need a voice.
6. Build a fair and peaceful world.
7. We care for our planet Earth.

Words like these can teach kindness and love and bring hope to children and adults alike.

In her book titled, Fluent in Faith, Rev. Jeanne Harrison Nieuwejaar writes that “People encountering our UU faith for the first time are often deeply moved by the articulation of our Principles. They find there a statement that feels pure and honest, that is unadulterated by oppressive, irrelevant creedal claims, a statement that echoes their own soul. “ She reminds us when Rev. Bill Sinkford, who at the time was President of the UUA, “called us to acknowledge there is no language of reverence in our Principles….” She writes, “The Principles aren’t really a faith statement at all. They are an ethical statement, an excellent statement of values useful as a guide for how we are to live our lives, individually and collectively.”

If you look in the insert again, right under the seven principles , you’ll find what is titled “The Living Tradition we share draws from many sources” and this is where our UU religious grounding is articulated and our diversity of theologies is represented. These six sources imply theologies and philosophies to celebrate as we live our ever changing lives, which is why they are referred to as the ‘living tradition’, stemming from the notion that we UU’s believe revelation is not sealed, nor does it come only from one religious source.

Both the seven principles and the six sources are rich with words that counter words of hate.They reflect way in which UU’s promote a way of being and living in the world that is counter cultural to a growing segment of our society today.

I want to share with you how I understand the words we UU’s have chosen to articulate who we are and what we do, and how they are bound together with the vision and mission of RVUUF, and, why I think it’s important, at this time in your life as a UU congregation in the Rogue Valley, to have a greater capacity understanding and leaning into your vision and mission here at RVUUF.

This past May you voted on a new mission and some of you expressed how you felt it is important to tie the mission to the vision if you really want it to make sense. Your mission process team and I, who planned the way to birth your new mission, couldn’t agree more. So consider today’s sermon as an invitation to begin the process of diving into your new mission together and its connection to your vision. What will follow on Sundays in September and October are sermons focused on every single word in the mission, and then you will have the opportunity to share with each other what you think your mission means to RVUUF in light of your vision, and what actions you might take together that will carry you towards fulfilling your vision. This will be an unconventional Sunday morning attempt to help your individual and collective understandings of what your mission means and what you might do for the next 3-5 years before you decide to birth a new mission.

To begin, let’s back up: The importance of the words we choose doesn’t stop with the seven principles and six sources, especially when we are living in the context of a world surrounded by hate. There are more words that can be used around here when first you’ve agreed and understand the purpose of RVUUF as a collective religious body. What is RVUUF’s purpose? The answer is written plain and clear in your bylaws:

The purpose of this fellowship is to foster liberal religious living through worship, study, service, and fellowship both within our congregation and in the larger community.

A simple, clear purpose of why RVUUF exists was written years ago and remains true right up to today, and hopefully will continue on after we are gone. And yet, in today’s context, and, if we truly need to counter a world that is filled with words that cause harm, as a religious people we must have accessible and within reach, words that do the opposite, words that promote love, words that nurture, words that give hope.

Back in 2010, long before I showed up, and before many new members joined RVUUF, I remind you that this congregation agreed to a vision for RVUUF. Remember, this vision is a long distance vision born in 2010, which means in the year 2016 we could possibly see some manifestations of your vision as reality but more than likely another 10 years or more has far better chances of reaching your vision. So, what is your vision? The words are printed in the insert. Let’s read it together:

Our vision is an open community practicing compassion, nurturing spirit, living justice and protecting the earth.

In the context of your purpose as a fellowship to “foster liberal religious living,” your vision is one that gives substance and inspiration to your purpose. RVUUF’s purpose alone is not very exciting or all that impressive compared to any other UU congregation. And yet, your vision is articulated with words that describe a place and a people who long for their complex and challenging lives to offer a hopeful and safe place to be with actions that are supported by values in the mix of community. What we know for sure though, is that, it is a vision you agreed to by way of your vote, once again, in the democratic process back in 2010, and I think we can assume it’s a vision you want to continue to strive for today.

As an aside, in the year 2026, just 10 years, RVUUF’s oldest children today will be in their 20’s, and if RVUUF continues to strive towards this vision, imagine how their lives could be impacted by this community….and who in turn could impact the world…..RVUUF’s vision counters the world in which we find ourselves today. But it takes more than a vision to counter the repetitive rhetoric of hate and the incessant mouthing off of harmful words that break hearts and disrupt lives. It takes action and practice.

Look at the first part of your vision, ‘an open community practicing compassion,’ how do you do that? What steps can you take to get you to that place where you chooses to speak words of compassion and openness? This is where your new mission comes in:

Our mission is to embrace diversity, empower connection, engage in the work.

Your mission came out of your life and your stories and your UU values and you agreed to it by voting on it in May 2016. Your mission is a step in the direction of making your vision a reality. Your mission to embrace diversity, empower connection, engage in the work speaks to what you need to be doing in order to reach that vision. Your mission is your breath of life and life force moving through your lives together.

When your vision is of “an open community practicing compassion” doesn’t it make sense that your mission of engaging in the work could include signing up to take a course in compassionate communication?

When your vision is of “an open community practicing compassion” could it also include learning to ‘embrace’ all kinds of diversities: theological, socioeconomic, age, orientation and identity, a diversity of ideas and opinions – embrace, not just tolerate?

When envisioning a “nurturing spirit” doesn’t that call for ways to empower your connection with people who are not like you; like connecting with children by attending one of our monthly game nights; or learning to connect with women or men who live alone, inviting them to dinner?

To envision a ‘nurturing spirit,’ doesn’t it call for connecting with yourself, listening to your body as much as you listen to your mind and opening your heart to someone whose heart’s been broken?

And then what about your vision of a community that is “living justice,” don’t you have need to engage in the hard work of understanding your white privilege and finding ways to engage and connect with people who live their black lives in a predominately white Rogue Valley? When envisioning ‘living justice’ it seems to me it would be helpful to learn how to engage and connect with the homeless who are surrounded by people who have a house or two?

What about when you envision a community that “protects the earth”? Wouldn’t that include engaging in the work of learning what that can look like around here, like maybe a lot more than just recycle cans and low-flow toilets?

The mission you all worked on and voted on in May is in some ways already being lived out but as I see it, your mission is being lived out mostly as individuals. I’ve seen and heard how many of you are engaged in Rev. Cat’s classes on collaborative covenant based communication, or you do embrace recycling with a vengeance, and some of you attend every game night connecting with children, and a few of you sleep at the shelter connecting with the homeless, and some people are engaging in studying what the Black lives movement is really about.

And yet, this mission you voted on is yours collectively and it’s a mission that has not been handed down to you, nor is it optional like in Mission Impossible – “your mission, should you choose to accept it….” You birthed together your mission mission! And I’m confident the time has come to you, RVUUFians, that you are more ready than you’ve ever been, since the birth of your vision in 2010, to collectively, come together, and engage with each other to understand and become mission-minded as your strive toward your vision together.

Your worship team and I are working together to facilitate your collective engagement with each word and phrase of your mission during upcoming Sunday services. We are looking forward to hearing about how you think your mission can turn into actions you can do together as the RVUU Fellowship where in the Rogue Valley you become known as the people who come together when diversity is threatened,when connections are broken and when the work seems too hard. As I mentioned earlier, this fall I will give sermons on each word and then you will have the opportunity to share your thoughts with each other about your mission during the Sunday service. And for fun, the mission process team has challenged you to hold a t-shirt logo contest and a singable jingle contest, presented by anyone brave enough to try it, using the words of your mission. I’ve already heard two different jingles in the last week.

In closing, here at RVUUF you have at your fingertips, and soon to be on the tip of your tongues, the UU principles and sources, a vision and a mission. It takes all 3 of these components to fulfill RVUUF’s purpose. What binds all of them together and what offers you the life blood and oxygen to live out your mission together and to sustain your vision, is your Covenant of Right Relations you all agreed to, by way of your vote last May at the annual meeting.

As you entered here today you should have received a new brochure of your covenant, put together beautifully by Ann Hackett.

It’s important to remember – and to know, if you are new to this congregation – that the first written covenant in 2014 and the revised version in your hand, 2016, is a covenant that unfortunately, was born out of heartbreak and harmful words you either said to each other or about others through speech or email, not too long ago in your not-too-distant past.

What’s interesting to note is that the 2014 version was written in first-person language, which is pretty much where you were at the time, speaking and acting alone as if whatever you said
had no impact on anyone else, and the covenant read like a bunch of rule and regulations for teenagers, or younger and it had the potential of running anyone off who read it…..I would characterize the 2014 covenant the “I” version.

The one you hold in your hands, I would characterize as the “we” version. It is composed of words that offer hope and that is grounded in all seven of our UU principles. And it includes RVUUF’s purpose, vision and mission giving context to why this covenant is so important. And, because we are all human and we know that covenants can be broken, if you look on the back page there are steps offering you help when you stumble.

Over these last two years I have seen and experienced RVUUF as a budding “we” church with a willingness to continue learning anew how to live in religious community with strong UU principles, sustainable values, a clear purpose, inspiring vision, and a soon to be embodied mission (once we learn a jingle and wear a new T-shirt). All with words that give hope and offer love.

As you move forward into life and into this season of great tension may you draw from deep within this well of beloved community all the while whispering and shouting words that give life and love. May it be so. Blessed Be.

1—p.39, Fluent in Faith, A Unitarian Universalist Embrace of Religious Language; Jeanne Harrison Nieuwejaar; 2012; Skinner House Books, Boston, MA.