Gilda Radner’s quote that I spoke about in last Sunday’s service has been repeated several times since this week. Her comment about how she wanted a perfect ending, referencing her impending death from cancer, has somewhat haunted me this week for a particular reason, but rest assured I don’t have cancer.
I, too, wanted a perfect ending to leaving RVUUF where I could take my time in saying good-bye to as many people as possible and to slide easily into the sunset July 1 feeling deep gratitude for my time serving RVUUF and living in southern Oregon.
I felt the same way when I left the Beaufort congregation three years ago when an unexpected death occurred then similar to the unexpected death of the UUA Moderator Jim Key last week.
Both experiences have impacted my ability and capacity to have that perfect ending I so hoped for, although this week I’ve experienced some really sweet and special moments with various committee members and individuals who wanted to share their well wishes for me and Sam. And I’m looking forward to my last Sunday service and the picnic to follow.
That perfect ending that doesn’t exist is now turning into a delicious ambiguity that three years ago I wasn’t as aware of as I am this time. The haunting for me is about how often I find myself in such similar circumstances that seem to have something to teach me.
My challenge is to remain open to “what comes next” and I was completely caught off guard when I received a call from the Vice Moderator of the UUA Board asking if I would organize a Memorial Service for Jim Key at General Assembly. I am so honored to be asked and at the same time it has turned my perfect ending upside down. And yet, I’m comforted by the song Meg Barnhouse has sung so often called All Will Be Well.
What about you? How are you doing with the ambiguity of your life? Can you find the deliciousness of it in the mundane things you do or in the encounters that surprise you? I hope you are as grateful as I with the mystery of life especially when we will never know “what comes next.” May we all be well …
Rev. Nan L. White
RVUUF Developmental Minister (2014-2017)