My experience of being in congregational meetings over many years, often I’m amazed when someone says something that I disagree with and it doesn’t make a bit of sense to me. Yet I learn it makes perfect sense to them and possibly to others. One time when I was sure what someone said to me didn’t make any sense, Rev. Cat Cox reminded me, that “Every view makes sense, the question is, what sense does it make?” Therein lies the challenge to listen for what matters to each other when disagreement is in the room.

When something matters to you, it stands to reason you want to be given an opportunity to share your thoughts, opinions, and feelings with the greater community, especially if you think you have a different perspective from what is being voiced. Making room for all voices and listening for what matters is the task at hand for RVUUF’s upcoming congregational meetings.

The month of May offers RVUUF members two opportunities to practice living in Beloved Community as we discuss and vote on things that matter to RVUUF, i.e. budget, bylaw change, a new mission, a revised covenant. Now that RVUUF is completing its second year of Developmental ministry devoted to bringing about health and wholeness in our relationships with each other and shifting the culture towards a greater capacity for building covenantal community, how do you think we’ll do on the 8th and 22nd?

Without sounding like a nay-sayer, I am imagining on May 8 (informational meeting) and May 22 (annual meeting) there will be members who will disagree about any one of the topics listed on the agenda. No surprise really, because each person carries their own thoughts, opinions and feelings about many subjects, particularly those to be voted on.

What matters to me is what we do with the experience of disagreement in community, not just the disagreement itself. I believe when we choose to use some of the best practices we’ve been learning the last two years, like, listening deeply for what matters and speaking compassionately with empathy, while at the same time holding each other respectfully, then I think we could very well leave these congregational meetings more satisfied and with greater meaning, in spite of any disagreement. I believe what matters is not just the vote that is taken. What matters is the way in which we come to a vote. How we are together in these two meetings will tell us what more we need to learn and practice in the days ahead.

Rev. Nan L. White
RVUUF Developmental Minister