For six weeks two groups, totaling 18 members of RVUUF, have been meeting online using a video conference program called ZOOM. I have joined both groups along with my mentor and colleague, the Rev. Cat Cox, who is the presenter.

The purpose of the ZOOM meetings online is two-fold, one is for convenience in that everyone stays home and joins the meeting by way of their personal computer or phone (technology is awesome!). The second purpose is to promote and empower members of RVUUF to become more skilled at communication that supports our UU values and our covenantal relationships as we continue to strengthen Beloved Community and live in right relationship. This 6 week course is from a longing requested by leaders who want to become more skilled in ways that support staying connected with ourselves and in relationship with one another, especially when conflict arises, as it does and will.

Rev. Cat draws from a variety of modalities when teaching, although primarily from Marshall Rosenberg’s Non-Violent Communication, better known as NVC. What’s distinctive in Rev. Cat’s teaching is that she frames NVC in a positive way referring to Empowered Communication and learning how to be conflict resilient when disagreements or viewpoints arise. She lifts up the importance of connection to ourselves first, then to another person. She describes this process as “when in an airplane you put the oxygen mask on yourself before you help the person next to you”. Listening and reflecting back to someone who feels they haven’t been heard, and discovering what needs arise, is another key to staying connected. Finding the strategies to meet the needs that arise is really the last step in the process of empowered communication and conflict resilience. However, our tendency is to go straight to finding/looking for the strategies, or ways to “fix” the issue, bypassing the discovery of what is really needed for all parties to be satisfied and stay connected.

This work is a spiritual practice and I’ve been working with Cat for a number of years, and I continue to find it challenging yet inspiring. I am excited to be among RVUUFians who want to gain skill in this kind of work that promotes Beloved Community. We are on the cutting edge with technology as we are the first congregation to work with her by way of ZOOM! At the end of the six weeks I will be offering practice sessions, possibly on ZOOM, for any of the 18 members who’ve been taking Cat’s class.