Please join anti-racism/pro-humanity educator, Kokayi Nosakhere on May 17th at 5 pm at the Elder Apothecary, 5 N Main Street, Suite 2, Ashland, OR 97520. Cost for the event is $75.
There exists a taboo within European American communities around talking about race, racism and whiteness. This taboo does not exist within Black communities, Native communities, Latinx communities or Bi-racial communities. Every other community DOES have to talk about race, racism and whiteness because they are being affected by race, racism and whiteness.
For reasons which escape my understanding, this taboo remains honored in 2023. In conversation after conversation with European Americans I experience complete bewilderment from them when race, racism and whiteness are brought up. They sincerely tell me that they do not identify with “whiteness” or feel any connection to another European American solely on the basis of race. They see other European Americans as individuals and experience themselves as individuals. So, when anti-racism work is demanded of them, they do not know where to begin or what to do.
Because I am an organizer, I am taught to start where the people are; not project any frustration towards them, b.u.t. honor where they are. Where are European Americans right now? Answer: steeped in the right to comfort.
What does that mean? It means: as soon as the European American becomes too upset “thinking” about themselves being associated with the current events of injustice, they make the demand that their right to comfort be honored.
“This is so difficult. I do not like feeling BAD about myself and that is how I feel whenever I talk about race. I can see what is happening and it makes me sad and depressed. It takes so much courage to do this work.”
“I am overwhelmed.”
“I have compassion fatigue.”
“I am exhausted.”
“I know I am not supposed to be any of these things and if I am drained from a conversation about race, I cannot imagine how Black people feel.”
So, what do I want you to do? I want you to HONOR the fact that, yes, the cost on anti-racism educators is such that we deserve compensation for teaching you what European American culture effectively LABELS as taboo and protects you from. You have chosen to comply with that taboo. No one who is in the oppressed class should educate you against the taboo FOR FREE. If you are overwhelmed and emotionally exhausted discussing race, racism and whiteness then please do not expect that anti-racism educators are NOT putting in tremendous emotional labor to teach you. We deserve FINANCIAL compensation.
Second, I want you to develop the emotional stamina needed to break said taboo. From what I can observe, the first barrier European Americans face when they choose to go on their healing journey out of white supremacy is the breaking of the taboo and refusal to honor the right to comfort of their fellow European Americans. Many, many European Americans inform me that they are TERRIFIED of upsetting European Americans over race, racism and whiteness. They can see the violence happening towards BIPoC and do not wish for the Conservative/Republicans/
While I can intellectually acknowledge that FEAR, I do not share in that fear. Remember, in the Black community there is no taboo around talking about race, racism and whiteness.
To assist you, I wrote a book entitled, WHEN AND WHERE WE FEEL SAFE. Yes, I am going to ask you to FINANCIALLY invest into your own healing. If you have a big heart, but do not have the money, I am going to ask you to ASK someone with the money to assist you in making said investment into your own healing. I am colluding with my own oppression if I choose to not make this demand that you invest into outgrowing white supremacy. You have to do your own work.
Now concerning the purchasing of WHEN AND WHERE WE FEEL SAFE and the creation of Racial Trauma Centers. What am I asking?
1) Purchase a 2 book set of “When and Where We Feel Safe.” ($30, plus $5 shipping and handling.) Follow this link: https://www.paypal.me/
2) Read the book. Answer the introspective questions at the end of each chapter.
3) Find someone European American in your community whom you can talk about race, racism and whiteness with the LEAST amount of emotional charge. (Please hear that I said: LEAST amount of emotional charge. I did not say NO emotional charge. Please accept there will be SOME emotional charge.) Please share the answers to the introspective questions you wrote with said courageous person.
When your friend asks you where you are getting this material from, please invite your friend to read “When and Where We Feel Safe” and do exactly what you did: answer the questions.
4) Encourage your friend – emotionally and psychologically – to process their relationship to the taboo about discussing race, racism and whiteness and answer the introspective questions at the end of each chapter, just like you did.
5) Then, to find a THIRD European American whom they can process their answers with. In other words, you inspire them to do to another European American what you did with them.
6) Since you will be out of copies, please email me and purchase additional copies of WHEN AND WHERE WE FEEL SAFE. Keep duplicating the process of reading, answering the questions in writing, finding a European American that you can break the taboo around talking about race, racism and whiteness with – while experiencing the LEAST amount of emotional charge, and inspiring them to do the same. In this manner, you will FIND those who are anti-racist in your community. For many, many European Americans, this process is how to BUILD those who can become anti-racist in your community.
7) Choose to gather 10 of your friends, who have gone through this process and watch the HBO Max 4-part documentary, “Exterminate All the Brutes.”
8) Start a racial trauma center study group by hosting a gathering, where you normalize talking about how it feels to be “white” in 2023.”
If you wish to purchase Beyond the Epiphany and The Paradox of Guidance, without attending the event, please email Kokayi Nosakhere by clicking HERE.