On Nov 24 after Sunday worship, a group of RVUUFians gathered with Neighborhood Team Leader Jill Limerick & Rev Sean to gain skills and information about best-practices to help newcomers feel truly welcome at RVUUF. Jill prepared a short document (click HERE to download PDF, which will save to your downloads folder) about how this applies to our neighborhood teams. This training is related to current learning goals identified by the Board, Rev. Sean and the Committee for Fellowship Ministry (CFM) and tied to our mission statement, specifically the first learning goal:

• Embrace Diversity: To embrace diversity we will learn how to identify and practice removing obstacles to full welcome and inclusion.

Rev. Sean reminded us that we’re not doing this because anything is wrong! We’re seeking to up our welcoming game because the mission and goals we’ve set for ourselves call us to learn, grow and do better. There’s always room for improvement.

Creating a welcoming atmosphere is a job that lasts all day — not one that stops when the gathering for worship music begins. Rev. Sean shared that at other congregations he’s served, he instituted a 15 minute rule: For 15 minutes after the end of service, no one was allowed to discuss church business! This mandated break from doing the work of the fellowship opens up space to connect to newcomers, who aren’t yet a part of church business.

When connecting with newcomers, it’s important to remember that folks often seek out a church at a rough moment in their lives. Being a newcomer in a community is intimidating even at the best of times, and so those of us who are already at home here can take some of the stress off of newcomers when we make ourselves vulnerable by starting conversations and beginning with offering information about ourselves rather than asking questions of the newcomer. When we do ask questions of newcomers, open-ended questions such as, “What brings you here today?” work better to fostering conversation than yes-or-no questions like, “Are you from Ashland?” or “Is this your first time here?” Another practice that serves to build connections is to introduce newcomers to others who may share their expressed interests (which you’ll learn from asking your open-ended questions!).

Rev. Sean reminded us that some questions we ask or things we say may contain hidden (to us) value judgements that end up functioning as micro-aggressions. To help us understand micro-agressions, Rev. Sean shared two handouts (download PDFs HERE and HERE) and a story from his partner, Rev. Theresa, who often needs to use a scooter for mobility: People like to joke with Rev. Theresa about the scooter, saying things like, “Don’t run me over!” While this may be a cute joke if said by one person, when said over and over again, it communicates that the scooter is all these people are seeing of Rev. T. Even if that’s not true, that ends up being how it feels. One micro-aggression usually doesn’t ruin someone’s day, but the cumulative impact, over a day or a lifetime, can bring a person down and make them feel unwelcome. This underscores the importance of beginning conversations with newcomers by sharing about ourselves and offering open-ended questions as a  invitation to connection.

As we deepen our skills for welcoming newcomers, we are living in to our mission to Embrace Diversity, Empower Connection & Engage in the Work. Even if you couldn’t make the meeting Sunday, please take a look at the materials and consider incorporating what you learn into the way you show up in this beloved community.